Thursday, February 28, 2013


Title: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No-To Take Control of Your Life
Author: Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend
Publisher: Zondervan (2002)
Pages: 304

DR HENRY CLOUD has been a guest speaker at my church on more than one occasion over the years. He’s an amazing speaker, and seems like a genuinely nice guy. When I heard about BOUNDARIES: WHEN TO SAY YES, WHEN TO SAY NO – TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE by DR HENRY CLOUD AND JOHN TOWNSEND, I decided to purchase it.

I’m sorry to say I let it sit on my bookshelf for some time before finally reading it. Once I got started, I quickly realized what a treasure I’d stumbled upon. There’s so much good stuff packed into 304 pages, I can’t begin to cover it all. I will say that I have more dog-eared paged in BOUNDARIES, then I do in any other book I’ve ever owned.

I didn’t realize I had boundaries issues until I read this book. There wasn’t a chapter I didn’t get something out of it or couldn’t connect with. I had thought about skipping the section on “Boundaries and Work”, since I’m no longer in the work field. I would have missed out if I had. It was a real eye opener to when I had worked, and packed with wonderful information if I ever decided to return to working.

Boundaries are needed in all parts of our lives including, our family, friends, spouses, kids, and those we work with. We as individuals need to set our own boundaries as well. To not do so would only be cheating oneself. We also need to recognize that God has boundaries as well.

BOUNDARIES will teach you all you need to know about boundaries in all aspects of your life, and how to apply them properly. I love the reference to Christianity, but even if you’re not a believer, I highly recommend this book.

My copy of BOUNDARIES is filled with highlights, parentheses, and astericks. If I had to pinpoint the most valuable piece of information I took away, it would have to be in a paragraph on page 89.

“What you can do is influence others. But there is a trick. Since you cannot get them to change, you must change yourself so that their destructive patterns no longer work on you. Change your way of dealing with them; they may be motivated to change if their old ways no longer work.”

What amazing advice. How often do we gripe and groan about others? How often do we try to change others, whether in the way they act or what they say? And more importantly … how often do our efforts have a positive result? On page 89, BOUNDARIES teaches us that we are the ones that need to make a change, and by doing so, we may be instrumental in changing other’s life.

I can’t even begin to guess how many people I’ve recommended this wonderful book too, packed full of knowledge for every person, written in a way that anyone can grasp. It’s a book that will remain in my home indefinitely.

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